The Death of Robin Hood

In this rewrite of the legend of Robin Hood, Robin doesn’t steal from the rich to give to the poor, he steals to take what he can for himself and Little John and kills for fun.

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It’s a strong choice that is, honestly, a bummer. The world needs more myths about people seeking socio-economic parity rather than fables about men who take what’s not theirs and leave suffering in their wake.

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This retelling is super violent and bleak and there are very few moments of lightness to balance the darkness. The acting is superb, the cinematography and directing are exceptional, but the script is disappointing. I’m not surprised this tanked at the box office.

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The premise is that Little John enlists Robin to engage in a final battle. A menacing family has taken over John’s property and has his wife and daughter held hostage. The savage, muddy, night-time blood-bath kills people on both sides and leaves orphaned children. Robin is gravely wounded and only survives because of John and a prioress who presides over a Priory on a nearby island who nurses him back to health.

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The choices made for Hugh Jackson’s character seem unlikely. [Warning: spoilers] After the first half of this film, which is wall-to-wall violence, Robin Hood suddenly becomes a coward.

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A dying man asks him to promise not to tell the prioress who he really is and, after the man dies, Robin tells her who is! And rather than become the protector of the Priory (as the last man on the island and the only person who can row the boat to the mainland and back), help raise a child he loves, and rather than face the consequences of his life choices, he insists that someone else facilitate his death. It’s a disappointing, pusillanimous, and very unheroic end.

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Also disappointing is a gratuitous masturbation scene that does nothing to further or add to the plot. This film is visually arresting but the script falls short. Not recommended.

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